Staying Optimistic While Enduring Trials Of Circumstance
Active patience requires many other positive traits, including determination, endurance, compassion (Jacob must have been able to feel compassion for Laban all those years despite his poor treatment), and, most of all, faith.
Each of these traits comes from the root of positive, optimistic thinking. If we can improve our ability to think positively, we will come a long way in our quest to become more actively patient with our circumstances.
The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill When dealing with situations that seem out of our control, we will all have the occasional negative thoughts.
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Consider Job’s story for a moment. Job is possibly the most well-known example of patience under extreme trials in the Bible, with an entire book dedicated to his story.
An interesting lesson from Job is that, while he remained committed to God throughout his trials, that didn’t stop him from crying out in despair.
He was as human as we are, and just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we won’t be scared, anxious, and disappointed. God is okay with us calling out to him in our pain.
Nevertheless, always dwelling on the negative side of the equation will not help us develop patience. It just gives Satan a more fertile field to plant his seeds.
Our thoughts are what drive our emotions, and negative and irrational thinking will lead to unhealthy emotional states. Here are some ways to help shape your thought patterns to be more positive and less negative.
Declare Emotional Independence from the Situation. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
The truth is that regardless of what happens to you, your emotions are not determined by the circumstances or what others think, say, or do. You have the choice about how you will feel at any given time.
Don’t take things people say and negative things that happen in your life personally. But make sure to take all the wonderful compliments you receive and positive events that occur in your life very personally!
You have the control to accept what you hear and experience or not. By allowing the positive and rejecting the negative, you will attract more of the former and less of the latter into your life. Spend each day as if it were the day before vacation.
Think back to the last vacation you took. The day before, weren’t you excited and optimistic over what was in store? When we prepare for a holiday.
We look forward to the adventure ahead; we don’t fear what will happen. That is the perfect attitude to bring with us every day, whatever the day may bring.
Rid yourself of catastrophic talk. As discussed in Chapter 4, the words we use to describe an experience can make all the difference in the world. It won’t make it better to zero in on how bad a situation is, or use highly negative words to describe it.
It just deteriorates your already weak emotional state and your capacity to handle the situation, causing even more negative results. So instead of thinking and speaking in black or white: “This is a DISASTER!”, try to see it in shades of gray: “This sure is a setback, what a challenge.”
Beware of the “Yabbut!” “Yabbut” has killed many a great idea and instantly adds a negative vibration to a situation. I’m sure it’s happened to you before: you have an excellent idea; you spell it out with great enthusiasm, and get in return:
“Yabbut, we can’t do that because…” Try to say “yes, and…” instead of “Yabutt.” It keeps a positive charge in the air and opens the possibilities of new solutions.
Similarly, work toward describing your present and how you want your future to become. If someone says “Hi, How are you?” give up the standard “fine” and answer “Terrific, never better!” Soon you will find that you are, indeed, feeling fabulous!
Finally, it’s a good idea to rid your talk of all “lemon words.” Those of us with children know that a “lemon word” is a profane statement. You know…one that makes your mouth pucker up when it is said! But we aren’t just talking four-letter words here.
Even socially acceptable words and phrases such as “shut up,” “stupid,” and “hate” have no place in an optimistic person’s vocabulary. Be creative instead and find more positively charged and empowering words to describe what you are thinking.
Don’t give in to Hopelessness. “I can’t take this anymore,” or “I don’t think I can go another day,” don’t help improve your situation at all. The mere fact that you are standing there making such a statement proves you wrong.
Hopelessness creates the most negative vibrational pull there is, and succumbing to it will eventually drag you to a place from which you can’t recover.
Focus on God’s promises and prepare some positive declarations to help pull you out of the hopeless cycle; this will help you build the optimistic patience you need to overcome your circumstances.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever. (Revelation 21:4)